texts from last night;;

[truesight]

texts from last night!
( ...in Asgard!! )

rules
- post your character to the meme with an IC embarrassing/hilarious/drunk text, in the style of textsfromlastnight.com.
-- post more than one text in your starter if you want to be rad and give people options. or just want to. yeas.
- reply to people.
- drunk ( or not maybe your character is just having a weird night, whatever man, you be you. ) texting conversations ensue
- idk man it's a meme, you guys got this.
- you got this.

Comments

rachel elizabeth dare ✒ pjo

[truesight]

1: how in hades was i supposed to know that my power extended to 'that one time you drew a romance novel style centaur'. like seriously who okayed that? and what am i going to do with this sexy centaur?

2: can you get drunk from eating to much pie? because i think i'm pie drunk. but it also might have been the seven shots of vodka. either one.

[2cool4guardian]

...you drew a romance novel style centaur?

Sebastian Moran | The Hound of the D'Urbervilles

[tigers]

OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING

Re: Sebastian Moran | The Hound of the D'Urbervilles

[sorryitasedyou]

Have you been listening to Katy Perry again?

wichita ☢ zombieland

[cons]

1: If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet

2: that's the beauty of it. i could sing the entirety of journey's "best of" album, say i wrote all of the songs, and about 80% of the people here wouldn't know any better. that cash prize is MINE.

1

[sorryitasedyou]

but what if it's really good tequila?

Robb Stark | A Song of Ice and Fire

[needsnoheadsman]

You fed me pizza off a sword last night.

[...or just send him a text.]

don't hate me it had to be done

[tigers]

Rather handy device, this. How long does it take you to type these messages out these days, old chap?

Rory Williams | Doctor Who

[timesnewroman]

1. We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence".

2. Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".

[allpurposescarf]

Yes, that sounds like Rome. But at least it wasn't worse, hmm?

[sorryitasedyou]

1 - If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.

2 - I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that

1

[sassgardian]

and forgo all of the creative uses of it yourself?

[No shame, nope.]

Elphaba Thropp | Wicked

[unnaturallygreen]

[palebee]

miss thropp how many bees is too many??

Jorah Mormont | A Song of Ice and Fire

[dishonouring]

1. I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.

2. I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the bouncer I punched.

[uncledaddy]

me. that was me. you punched me. yes you are banned.

Bucky Barnes | MCU

[snowstormed]

i. Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of in the bushes.

ii. It just smells like spaghetti and despair.

iii. choose your own adventure.

3

[sorryitasedyou]

this honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.

Dr. Whale ; Once Upon a Time

[ex_galvanist88]

1: Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.

2: Tonight we're going to make Asshole God regret that he picked me in the first place.

[becauseichooseto]

1. They assumed you weren't a selfish heathen. Obv. not paying attention.

[palebee]

a.) i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both set things on fire and count andtype and not blink. 293 so magical

b.) don''t come in the laundry roomfo r 20 minutes okay thank you im' having a heart to heart with thewashin gmachien

c. is it just me thatfeels kind of bad calling odin a dick now?well thinking it really loudly at least thats sort of thes ame

a

[proudofwhatiam]

I'm fairly certain you should be worried after the first 200.

leonard mccoy ✩ star trek

[sufferably]

( 1 ) Women are fucking weird. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.

( 2 ) I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?

1

[guestlectures]

I wish I could explain us but I can't, sorry

[uncledaddy]

a). she was telling me aobut 'birth control' and i have never been mroe jealous in my life

b). do you think i need therapy y behonest

d). giong to the zoo going t osfree them from their hcains

b)

[seventyfirst]

yes.

Vislor Turlough | Doctor Who

[failassassin]

1: Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check

2: Is this an Earth thing? Because I spent all my time in a public school, I don't know that many Earth things.

[allpurposescarf]

Of course not!



Have you tried a cricket bat?

[2cool4guardian]

1. texts like yours remind me why i don't drink

2. did you move down the carrot nose of my snowman?

3. remember how i told you there's no way that kid's older sister is flirting with me?
ok so maybe you were right after all

[becauseichooseto]

3. What happened?

johanna mason ; shit's fucked adn then you all die (u18s only)

[seventyfirst]

one ) i'm trying to make cookies in the george foreman.

two ) i stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.

three ) it's a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid.

three

[uncledaddy]

wow two in one? nice that's double points i think. i'll underline your score on the chart.

Oberyn Martell | ASOIAF

[theredviper]

1 It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.

2 i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers

3 surprise me

two

[uncledaddy]

i'm hungover and it's been about two weeks since the last crop. please tell me my dear brother has not arrived.

neville longbottom ✾ hp

[adjunct]

hypothetical questian has anyone got flight or telekinesis because i can't get my pants off of the whirly thing on the ceiling round the light and i bloodied my nose trying to jump for it

hypotheticallly

[writeswrongs]

Hypothetically, of course.

I have telekinesis and would probably be able to get them down since they're not that heavy. Unless they're metal pants or something.

Fandral ❥ Marvel Cinematic Universe

[sassgardian]

one.} I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that

two.} I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.

three.} you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.

b

[darkmum]

That sounds concerning.

The Fourth Doctor | Doctor Who

[allpurposescarf]

1. Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.

2. What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.

[becauseichooseto]

2. And there was me gearing up to tell all.

Barty Crouch jr | Harry Potter

[liquidsky]

1: As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.

2: Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.

3: Choose your own!

3

[sorryitasedyou]

I'm drunk in a field. I'm pretty sure there's a chupacobra and it's going to eat me. If i die serve vodka at my funeral.

desmond miles | asscreed

[familyissues]

one. // All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELING we're all in a lot of trouble paesan

two. // I told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. Her reply "You need to play the field more anyway"

three. // You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down

three 8D

[emergingspirit]

I remember none of this.

Evelyn Carnahan | The Mummy

[proudofwhatiam]

1: Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people

2: i kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in classical latin. i am onee intelligent drunk

3: your choice! ♥

1

[infomodder]

[ykinmk evy wow no]

did you put the books back yet

do you need help

Irving Braxiatel § Doctor Who Audios

[becauseichooseto]

1. It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food

2.It's a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.

3.Did I hear you asking Siri what was the meaning of life?

3

[allpurposescarf]

It did seem like a good idea at the time.

regina mills | once upon a time

[disheartening]

I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.

[uncledaddy]

a toothsome death, though. if you had to pick a way to go -- well, no. i still wouldn't choose that. what of you? old age? tragic accident?