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the test drive meme.

❧ let's do this.

Anyone can post to the test drive meme, including duplicates! Please put your character name and canon in the title of your comment.
All threads are considered open to everyone! Tag around and make some friends (or enemies)!
If you decide to apply to the game, you can use your TDM threads for your app samples! You only need to provide seven comments if you use TDM samples.
You can't really be late to a TDM! This will be considered open until the next one goes live next month.
You can make up your own scenario, interact with one of the locations in the game, use the welcome process of your character waking or selecting a god house, or use our optional prompt below!
You do not need to pick a god house to play on the TDM! You can have your character still in the process of discussing/deciding/despairing instead.
If you are accepted to the game, you can keep TDM threads as game canon as long as you fudge some of the details depending on your original thread. If you aren't sure exactly how to do this, you can always ask a mod.
The game cap is currently at 57/100. Casts currently at/approaching the 8 character limit are:
ASOIAF/GOT: 6/8
Marvel Cinematic: 5/8
Reserves open on September 24 at 12:01AM EST and close on September 30 at 11:59PM EST.
Applications open on October 1 at 12:01AM EST and close on October 7 at 11:59PM EST.
Please always feel free to contact the mods if you have any questions! Have fun, dear (future?) Wanderers. ♥

❧ optional scenario.
As you're walking unsuspectingly through the city, you might feel a sharp but brief pain as something strikes you suddenly at any point on your body. It seems you've been shot - but where there might be a wound with any other weapon is a bright splash of paint instead, glowing faintly with magic. Our modern-Earth savvy friends might be able to recognize this as the work of a paintball gun, complete with that particular sting that isn't anywhere near unbearable but is still really unpleasant all the same. If you aren't quick to figure out what's happening, you might be struck by another paintball, or perhaps even several at the same time. As the colorful paint splashes across your clothes (will that come out in the wash later?), you'll feel compelled to interesting effects depending on the color:

red: you laugh once, with a loud ha!
orange: you finger-guns at the first person you see.
yellow: you sing and hold a note for five seconds.
green: you sneeze.
blue: you fart.
purple: you cry. :(

The more paintballs you're struck by, the sharper your eye, or perhaps even simply from picking up on the juvenile nature of the pranks themselves, some of you might catch the culprits darting around corners and giggling as they run past. Young children with simple handmade guns and bags of what look like glowing marbles. They might be willing to share with you if you promise to let them keep playing - or they might make a run for it if you try to get in their way. Either way, good luck getting that paint our of your clothes!

navigation.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh thank glob! You almost had me worried there, and don't pretend there were only four. You and I know there were a whole four other idiots to deal with on top of those four. I had to put up with little miss giggles lalonde almost macking on John in my last moments. Trust me. Definitely more than four.

[Ahem.]

If everything went according to plan and John followed my directions to the letter? Since absolutely fucking never. Dave said you guys threw him in a fridge and hauled that crazy, drugged out hobo around with you. Better than he deserved, trust me.

Biggest mistake of the last two sweeps of my life.

[ Karkat's jealousy senses... are tingling. How does it feel to have the shoe on the other nub, Terezi? How does it feel???

But he politely ignores that little tidbit about Roxy and John for the more juicy gossip regarding a certain clown, and more relevantly: the confirmation that this Terezi is pre-retcon. ]

Oh. Shit. Terezi...

[ Honestly, what is there to say? It's sad. It makes Karkat feel tired. Nevertheless, he won't spend too long pitying her - that'd just be awkward for them both at this point. ]

To think I felt bad for him getting stuck in that food vault! Good fucking riddance.

[Pretty good, actually, though she was totally unaware of it right then.]

Don't worry about it. You always had a soft spot for the rageaholic. It's why you were moirails, even if he was always pretty damned crappy at his end of the bargain. [She snorted.] Let's just say nothing about that relationship was good and that having that deranged, honking dumby wandering around free did nobody any favors.

[She grunted and folded her arms. The break-up was only a couple months ago, really, and most of those months had been here.]

I'm over him. Really, I totally am. Promise. But I'm sitting out the concupiscent stuff till I'm more ok with me. I've got a bad history. And the less I have to be the one explaining it all to the dumb primates? The better.

I'm only bothering with Nammers. Besides, she's not actually stupid. Just... timid.

[ You know what's going to happen next? What's happening next is an almost laughable repeat of history, Karkat de-captchalogging a chair so he might sit on it in an approachable manner, that shows he is listening. Terezi really is just unloading onto him, so it's only fair he try to get the full story. Even if the idea of being moirails with Gamzee is making his head spin, not to mention Terezi's suspicious denial. ]

That's reasonable. I'm glad to hear you're making progress. Why don't you tell me about this Nammers human?

...
...

[She damned near fell over laughing when she smelled a chair appearing. Her hands were on her frond hinges and she was laughing her fanny off for some unexpressed reason. It was a wheezing, cackling thing that lasted for almost a minute.]

Oh man... You... you have no idea... how freaking good an impression Dave does of you when he's trying to lay down the relationship advice!

[She might have just murdered Dave right there, but she didn't care. She laughed again and listened for explosions from Karkat before continuing to explain the insanity that was trying to moirail with a nobody.]

Edited 2019-09-17 05:23 (UTC)

[ Slams down his hands on the chair in a huff! He was trying to be a good friend, don't laugh at him!! Also, he's a little scandalized?! ]

You were taking relationship advice from Dave? The same Dave Strider that would rather draw penises over everything than talk about relationships for one second? And you're putting him on my level?!

[She couldn't help snickering. Yep, that's about right where she expected him to be.]

Hehehe, I gotta work with what I got so he tried to channel his inner crab for me. It was positively hilarious. Not the best advice, but I don't know. It's been easier this time.

Helps that my moirail isn't too busy being a self-important tool to actually be my moirail and that they actually listen when I try to stop them from doing something dumb.

[Cause no matter how much chemistry they undeniably had? She and Vriska were such baaaaaaad moirails when it came to doing their jobs.]

[ Ain't that the truth, though Karkat was way too polite to mention it while Terezi was with her. Besides, he's seen worse moirails. Eridan and Feferi, for example... ]

In that case, it sounds more likely that your Moirail actually has the emotional capacity to give you what you need than whatever-the-fuck Dave tried to pull off. My only concern is if they'll be satisfied with a pale relationship.

[Feferi was arguably a great moirail to him once. Fintastic didn't deserve to lick the ground she walked on.]

Well... ok, so this is where things get a little weird. She'll be fine being Pale. I'm sure of it. It's just... she's not actually human so you know.

Namine looks human. Smells human. Talks like one. But she's something called a Nobody. No blood pusher, metaphorically speaking. Really muted emotions. Like totally, really muted. Not dead Aradia mute, but it's enough that if she wasn't being sweet and understanding, and a little mother gruberly? [That's totally a word. Shut up.] you would notice.

Girl's not sure she can really 'feel' more. I'm... trying to help her. She's real down on herself in a way. Imagine someone as soft as Tavros, but with a real posture pole in them. But, like you said? She's willing to stop me when I'm about to troll someone too much. And I've been watching out for her. But we're still really new to this.

Hmm.

[ Yes, that's all Terezi is getting. A "Hmm", as Karkat tries to wrap his head around this information without ever having actually met Namine and judging for himself what's she's like. Though he never would've called Terezi as being attracted to someone she's comparing to Tavros. The concept of a non-human human isn't entirely weird at least, considering they have experience with the sprites. ]

Ok, you're absolutely, totally making me nervous there. Since when do you say nothing?

[Did she go and say something dumb? Admittedly, comparing Namine to Tavros was absolutely not fair. The only thing they had in common was the lack of violent streaks. But Terezi was a little nervous.]

What's going on between your hear ducts, Karkat? Don't leave me in suspense and nervous here!

Christ, can't a guy think! Turn a few ideas around in his think-pan before flapping his petulant lips? Jesus.

[ Though it's true that sometimes it seems Karkat mainly uses his brainpower on his colourful yelling. He sighs. ]

Keep in mind I haven't met her so chances are I'm totally talking out of my ass here, but since when is that a problem? Anyway, the lack of emotion is always going to be a concern. You know moirallegiance requires as much investment as the concuscipient quadrants, even if it's way less intense. Which gets into my second concern: being pale comes from pity, which it sure sounds like you have... But a big part of that is about pacification too. It sounds like she needs that way less than you do, and might in fact benefit from an intense relationship that provokes emotions instead.

Edited 2019-09-18 03:51 (UTC)

... yeah, I've been thinking about that.

[She raked her hand through her hair and looked down. There was some of the emotional vulnerability that he had never been subjected to, because the version he knew just had trouble finding her place and value with everyone being so cool around her. He'd never seen the faygo binges, the feelings of inadequacy.

They were partially gone, but they were still there, ready to rear their ugly heads.]

She's committed the action, the work. She's already shushed me and is doing what you'd expect. She even likes doing it I think, and she seems to worry about my head games I play on folks. On the surface it's all fine... but...

There's part of me that thinks she has the feelings, hidden, tucked away in her thump tortoise. Part of me's afraid it's not really there, or I couldn't get it out of her in the end. She wants to try, but we're trying. It's... not guaranteed. It never is, is it?

...well, she doesn't exactly need to be pacified, but she needs ... encouragement? Does that make sense? And... I mean... I don't think I'm ready to try for something flushed. Pale's a lot for me right now.

Edited 2019-09-18 03:59 (UTC)

[ It's a strange experience to be subjected to, and Karkat finds he's re-evaluating his opinion on Gamzee by the second. And Vriska. Not to mention himself, for being glad that Terezi feels that she can depend on him. None of it is a pleasant realisation. But that's not what's important here. ]

Terezi, I think it's pretty safe to say that whatever you choose to do will turn out fine. You're too smart not to learn from your mistakes, and even if swinging in the exact opposite direction of an obsessive obscene clown isn't what I'd call the best choice - it's still a fucking whole lot better than trying to get into a relationship that asks too much from you before you're ready!

[ In a gesture that's not a pap, but reassuring all the same, Karkat places a hand on Terezi's shoulder.]

What I'm saying is, be selfish! Take care of yourself first and foremost! Maybe, God I can't believe I'm saying this, maybe Vriska was onto something. Take as much as you need, and give only what you can give.

[She fidgeted, grumbling a little under her breath. She kind of wanted to say 'if I learned so glob damned well, how'd I screw you, Dave and Gamzee up?' She didn't, though. Part of her intellectually knew that two of those weren't real fuckups, and she absolutely knew deep down that Gamzee was all his fault. Her head was bowed and she reached up to scratch at it, trying to get through some of what he was saying before finally just outright belting the next one out at an impressive volume for her.]

Fine, you know what I really want Karkat? What I totally, absolutely need right now? I need someone to protect that I'm not going to fuck up! She needs protecting... and I need someone who actually acts like a moirail. [Breathe]

Fuck, I miss Vriska. You have no idea how much I miss her, how much I missed hearing you shouting about every glob-damned thing, but Vriska's a terrible moirail. We never papped or shushed each other over anything! She's a great friend, but ... I need a moirail who's a moirail. And this girl? She's almost naturally one... I'm just most afraid she'd be like that for anyone! An...And I want that for ME!

...
...
...

[Sniff, hah. She giggled and reached up to wipe a tear out from under the blindfold, and if he looked he'd catch a glimpse of white eye.]

If she needs emotions, she's not gonna need flushed with me. I'm a basket case, Karkat, man... I'm better, but... you should have seen me. [Chuckle.] Well, you did... but not you. You you. Get it? HAHAHAHA! Man, fuck timey wimy hoofbeast manure sooo much.

Yeah, it sucks major globes. But unless you're completely unrecognizable from the Terezi I know, I'm still going to treat you the exact same way as always! So, you know, like my awesome fun friend who can be way put together than she gives herself credit for. And quite frankly, doesn't deserve half the people she surrounds herself with. Myself included! So have a little more confidence in yourself and leave the miserable moping to the experts.

[ You know. Like him. But putting that little pep talk aside, Karkat is trying to take everything else Terezi said into consideration. It helps that her own emotional issues are tragically similar to his, even if limited to just one quadrant. Perhaps that's why what he says next is particularly significant, considering their shared history - retcon or not. ]

If you're so afraid of losing her, or worried that she'll cheat without realizing it, then you should let her know and figure it out together! Otherwise... you're going to regret it.

Oh glob... you're fiiiiine, Karkat. Totally fine, ok? You're a colossal fuck-up sometimes and watching your life go off the rails is hilarious when it's not a big deal, but you've been good to me. You and Dave both. It was just complicated, ok?

[She laughed and sighed. It did feel good to get to shout back and forth with this idiot sometimes. She reached over and gave him a punch at the shoulder.]

I'm... I'm a lot better than I used to be, I swear. Just don't let me near fizzy drinks. That's a road I don't need to go down again, guh...

...

And... you're probably right. Even if I think she understands, she's got a really big blood pusher for someone who says she doesn't have one. I know that sounds weird, but it's true. I'm going to need to tell her one of these days. I'm not going to get jealous of her friends, but this is... well, this is something else. [Bullshit she wasn't going to be jealous and she knew it. That lie smelled like so much rancid fecal matter in her nostrils, but she was standing by it.]

[ Don't worry Terezi, your jealousy will never get as bad as this asshole's. Karkat grumbles, rubbing at where Terezi punched him - gog knows she's not the type to hold back, at least with him. ]

Yeah, well, if you ever want to talk about it or just get someone to fuck off without actually dealing with them, I'm here now. The grand shoutmaster, at your service.

[She snuffled and laughed. Yeah, the grand master of shouting had arrived. Protect your hear ducts, world!]

Hehe, and if you need me to sniff out any lies and hunt down ne'er do-wells, I'm definitely here. Trying to convince them to have something to actually enforce.

...

[Ponder. Fuss. Fuck it. Dave'd tell him if she didn't, and it was better coming from her now that they were having a feels fest.][Because getting her sight back? Totally a mistake.]

So nothing's changed.

[ Karkat says, entirely oblivious. ]

Well... aside from the fact that I can actually see if I really really want to. Aranea fixed that. [Gruuuuunt.] But I'm not usually in the mood to fess up to that mistake. Second worst decision of the last sweep.

And I'm totally only telling you because Dave knows already and we both know he'll give me such shit if he's the one that tells you.

What? Who?? Why??? How???? Fuck, you can't just tell me that and not expect me to ask for more details!

Hehehe, look at you all confused.

[She felt better already, her snickers definitely sounding far more pleased by the second.]

I'm not actually blind.
Aranea. You know, Vriska's dancestor? You guys met them right? Totally a manipulative bitch even more than Vris ever was.
She conned me into thinking it was a good idea and it'd help, but it wrecked my sense of self on top of everything else.
No clue. Didn't see her do it, duuuuuh.

Ha ha, cute that you can still make blind jokes, but it's been a part of you so long I'd be more worried that you didn't. But seriously, that bitch?

[ Frankly, Karkat has to rack his brain to even recall her, she's that irrelevant to his timeline. ]

Sure we met, years ago, but I tuned her out as soon as she started spouting useless exposition. I didn't even know she had that power!

Hehe yeeeeep. I'm still totally trolling them about not being able to see even if I could just take the bindfold off the gander bulbs right now. [Which she wasn't doing.]

See, I told John all he had to do was follow my directions and it'd fix crap. [None of which had to do with Aranea, but details.] Trust me. You totally did not need to listen to a word out of that manipulative bitch's mouth. There's worse ones, but not that many.