assguardians | (no subject)

the test drive meme.

❧ let's do this.

Anyone can post to the test drive meme, including duplicates! Please put your character name and canon in the title of your comment.
All threads are considered open to everyone! Tag around and make some friends (or enemies)!
If you decide to apply to the game, you can use your TDM threads for your app samples! You only need to provide seven comments if you use TDM samples.
You can't really be late to a TDM! This will be considered open until the next one goes live next month.
You can make up your own scenario, interact with one of the locations in the game, use the welcome process of your character waking or selecting a god house, or use our optional prompt below!
You do not need to pick a god house to play on the TDM! You can have your character still in the process of discussing/deciding/despairing instead.
If you are accepted to the game, you can keep TDM threads as game canon as long as you fudge some of the details depending on your original thread. If you aren't sure exactly how to do this, you can always ask a mod.
The game cap is currently at 57/100. Casts currently at/approaching the 8 character limit are:
ASOIAF/GOT: 6/8
Marvel Cinematic: 5/8
Reserves open on September 24 at 12:01AM EST and close on September 30 at 11:59PM EST.
Applications open on October 1 at 12:01AM EST and close on October 7 at 11:59PM EST.
Please always feel free to contact the mods if you have any questions! Have fun, dear (future?) Wanderers. ♥

❧ optional scenario.
As you're walking unsuspectingly through the city, you might feel a sharp but brief pain as something strikes you suddenly at any point on your body. It seems you've been shot - but where there might be a wound with any other weapon is a bright splash of paint instead, glowing faintly with magic. Our modern-Earth savvy friends might be able to recognize this as the work of a paintball gun, complete with that particular sting that isn't anywhere near unbearable but is still really unpleasant all the same. If you aren't quick to figure out what's happening, you might be struck by another paintball, or perhaps even several at the same time. As the colorful paint splashes across your clothes (will that come out in the wash later?), you'll feel compelled to interesting effects depending on the color:

red: you laugh once, with a loud ha!
orange: you finger-guns at the first person you see.
yellow: you sing and hold a note for five seconds.
green: you sneeze.
blue: you fart.
purple: you cry. :(

The more paintballs you're struck by, the sharper your eye, or perhaps even simply from picking up on the juvenile nature of the pranks themselves, some of you might catch the culprits darting around corners and giggling as they run past. Young children with simple handmade guns and bags of what look like glowing marbles. They might be willing to share with you if you promise to let them keep playing - or they might make a run for it if you try to get in their way. Either way, good luck getting that paint our of your clothes!

navigation.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Blind jokes were the height of humor, damnit. And, besides, she'd never seen much worth seeing. She bobbed her head a bit and relaxed some while her head canted around to take in the city.]

Yeah, totally, and now you get to vacation in sunny Asgard and watch them paint the doorframes with oinkbeast blood and make you look for stupid coins.

[totally not kidding here.]

[ Karkat takes Terezi at her word. ]

OH GREAT, SO IT REALLY IS LIKE SBURB ALL OVER AGAIN. FETCH QUESTS AND GORE AND ALL.

Amazingly like it, only the goal's more world building. Imagine if you had to micromanage the activity of all the stupid denizens in the world that you inherited in SGRUB for month after month and keep them from making stupid decisions while they kill oink beasts because they want more?

[She grinned.]

Better than oblivion!

[Her smile might have been a little forced. The last couple weeks had been weird and exceptionally frustrating with her trying to herd purr beasts of other travelers, hoping to convince them to recommend basic laws to the natives like "No Illegal Culling" or "Don't take each other's shit."

It hadn't been a big problem yet, but after the 'door painting' episode, she wasn't taking chances.]

Goddamit, I was able to get by doing the bare fucking minimum for Earth C, but now this? Is this some kind of divine punishment?

[ Because Karkat understands all too well what leading a society can entail at this stage, when all he wants to do is stay at home, watch TV, and cuddle his boyfriend. ]

Well, I mean Dave's here and there's gods in this place, and you're totally stuck here so... yep! Definitely a divine level of hoofbeastmanure that you get to play troll sims with humans!

Especially a group as absolutely new to this as these guys. They're kind of hopeless. Like salamander hopeless.

THANKS FOR THAT MAGNIFICENT REASSURANCE, TEREZI. I'M FEELING OH SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT ALL THIS. WHY ARE THE GODS HERE SO USELESS ANYWAY?

[She snickered away and smirked over at him. Oh it was so easy, not that the situation wasn't a little distressing anyway.]

You're absolutely welcome! I live to make your nubs throb from the pan-ache that fills you right now though I can't take credit for it. Those gods are all pretty new to just about anything.

Just wait until you meet Honir. That'll be a hoot.

I can read between the lines. He's going to make me lose my shit while you cackle like a witch on steroids, right?

Maaan, you can read me like a book you little tomewriggler.

[She snickered. Like this was really a surprise.]

He will totally make you lose every last bit of shit you've got and it will be amazing.
You won't be able to avoid him either.
You'll just see him once, blathering on about some stupid thing he thinks is amazing and you'll start flipping tables and shouting.
I'm waiting for it.

[ Karkat huffs, all offended and contrary. ]

Sorry to disappoint a fan, but I don't lose my shit for just anything and anyone anymore. I've grown up a little! In fact, I bet the most this guy will inspire from me is a scoff.

Is that sooooo [Nope, she'd believe it when she sa.... smelled it. Definitely.] So, no more losing arguments with yourself while shouting at everyone to shut up? I'm almost impressed there, Karkat! Character Development has been achieved!

That's what happened when you give up any pretense of achieving anything worthwhile.

[ Karkat is a loser and he's accepted that fact. ]

Now now, don't you go getting down on yoursself, Crabby Patties, you're not the one who made an artform of it. [Snicker.]</small But good. Funny as that is, you weren't always good on your timing with those arguments.

GOD, I KNOW. PAST ME WAS SUCH AN OBTUSE SHITHEAD.

HAHAHA, [Someone'd just activated her trap card!] You haven't changed completely, Karkat. Mature or not, old you can still get you riled up easy.