assguardians | DECEMBER TEST DRIVE

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!test drive meme

DECEMBER TEST DRIVE

THE TEST DRIVE MEME

• Got a character you're thinking of reserving/apping this round? PUT THEM HERE!
• Threads here can count as your third person sample!
• Comment with your character's name and canon!
• This is open to everyone! Also, test drivers can tag other test drivers. :)
• Make up your own scenario or have them walk into all the doors or leave it blank for others to do it for you!

Reserves are here, and open on November 24th at 12:01AM CST.

Application information (including the list of pending apps) is here,
and they open on December 1st at 12:01AM CST.

OPTIONAL SCENARIO: After your character receives his or her bracelet and the run-down from the faceless maids in the castle, they walk out to find the city blanketed with snow and in the middle of what seems to be a snowball war organized by the Native children! Be careful on your way to your Welcome House: snowballs are flying, and these groups of giggling kids don't seem to care who gets caught in the crossfire.

Make sure to have fun, and as always, feel free to hit the mods or players up with any questions you might have! ♥

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[In Sigyn, it's like Gryffindor Slytherin Ravenclaw Hufflepuff all over again. Except Sirius knew what those meant about people, it let you automatically Sort them in your head, who you were going to like and dislike (Slytherins for the former, generally speaking). It's more difficult here because he's not yet picked up on the subtleties of the houses yet, but he'll learn in no time, right? Because even without magic, he's clever.

And he might claim to be not so fond of titchy dogs, but the truth of the matter is, Sirius just likes dogs. And dogs like him, probably the smell of him, and since he's been in a dog's head (or vice-versa), he knows what to do with them, and he grins at the licking, and the implication that there are more where this one came from.]

How many are 'the rest', exactly, are we talking about a hundred, or more like ten?

[This guy's still a little weird, but how can you dislike anyone that likes dogs enough to let them have sway over the household. Sirius can appreciate that in a person.]

Are they all titchy like this one, because that might be your problem. Really big dogs are the way to go for warmth. Or so I have been told, and heard loads of complaints about. Er, my friend, he's got a dog. A massive one. He's always going on about how hot it gets when the dog decides to sleep on his bed, but it's a dog, right, it's not as if it's doing it on purpose.

Or maybe it is. Dogs've got a sense of humor, sort of.

[The common ground of dogs is a good one. You can get loads of conversation out of dogs, even with Awkward Sigyn Man and all his Things.]

Oh, you know.

[Wait. No. He doesn't know because a) he's never spoken to him before and b) he just asked like he didn't know and c) Will just found him fresh and new like driven snow using snow to enact some sort of juvenile revenge on children. There is no way for him to know unless he's got some mind-reading abilities and even then—

—even if he did Will would have wanted him to ask so it's a moot point.

Will has another Thing, though. It's a big Thing. The Thing is that Will Graham is probably a boring loser to most people. If he didn't have his super special way of seeing murder scenes, what would he be? Working in boatyards and barely making ends meet, which he then would use to feed his dogs. Hell he might have ended up eating dog chow just to keep them happy. But he can't just insert "also I work on murder scenes and I'm really good at it and my former psychiatrist was a cannibalistic serial killer I'd been chasing for years who tortured my boss and fed everyone people and also we kind of adopted this young girl and he said we were her fathers and then he killed her and I threw up all over her ear so I'm not really boring I just sound like I am and I'm okay with people thinking I am really I can handle that over that murderer any day but I'm not boring oh God!!!!"]

Five. Currently. Just five. I had more, but. I tend to ask around in case I found anyone's dog and they were missing them, so it's kind of a revolving door. [Does the dog have a collar? Who gives a shit, not Will Graham! It's getting a bath and a rubdown and fed and then he'll squint at the collar and ask later. Even if they are obviously not dogs (like he knows what a direwolf is), if it is moderately canine, it goes home with Will! He just has so little going for him, really. What a loser.] But, uh, titchy? [He cannot handle this word. Does he mean a little yappy dog that people commonly call rats and dismiss and put in designer handbags and carry everywhere and are stereotyped as shaky and nervous and and and] I don't. I...some are bigger than others. I haven't had anything quite like an Irish Wolfhound, but...I don't choose them. I just pick up strays and let them stay as long as they like.

[Which is forever, obviously.

There is no pound in Asgard, Sirius. There is only Will Graham.]

Edited 2013-11-20 02:01 (UTC)

Titchy.

[He demonstrates, with his hands, the size of a titchy dog, and that is: itsy bitsy titchy little. Also this dog here would fall under that category, but Sirius is more interested in scratching her behind the ears than he is anything else.

But then he's going on about strays and all right, yeah, Sirius is getting a general impression of this fellow. He's like a crazy cat lady, but a crazy dog... man. Which, there are certainly worse things to be, no judgements, especially because Sirius feels quite strongly about people taking care of poor stray dogs. He's played the part of a poor stray dog before, just for the hell of it. Some people are downright cruel to poor stray dogs, or they would be, if the poor stray dog they were trying to be cruel to didn't have a bit of his brain that was still very Sirius and thus able to outwit them, and maybe teach them a lesson, make them think twice about being cruel to poor strays--but this guy, this guy likes poor stray dogs. That's the kind of guy Sirius can like.

Even if he's a bit weird.]

So... all right, so what I get from this is, you're not the discerning sort. You just like dogs. Even when you're transported to Merlin-knows-where, and asked to fight a war, of some sort, you still just like dogs.

Noble cause. [The way he says it has a hint of amusement to it, but it's not judgmental or dismissive.]

[Will watches the gesticular (not a word!!!) explanation of titchy like a layman watching a documentary about NASA. It's a whole new world, this slang. It's foreign and therefore weird but it's also interesting and he briefly imagines the last European he knew saying titchy and it just doesn't work. Too cultured for titchy. He can't even imagine baby cannibal saying it.]

Oh. Right. I get you. Little...people sometimes call them yappy. She's part Pomeranian is my guess. That's a little, fluffy, orange dog...

[Which is probably totally obvious considering said dog is

fluffy

orange

and little

A million points to Sigyn for nobility in regards to stray mutts! Sigyn wins!

He realizes he probably should stop talking about dogs because this guy is brand new and while a distraction is nice, he may have questions.

But holy shit, Will cannot stop with the dogs. He's a disaster.]

Did I—? Sirius Black, right? I'm Will Graham. [Bad manners, this is his heart, it's on the table, Seleeeeeene] And that's Samantha. What do we do when we meet strangers, young lady?

[A little wiggle of his fingers is all she needs to have, and one little paw lifts up for a shake while a pink tongue hangs out. Maybe he has a lot of dogs, sure, but they're well fed, clean, and happy. What else matters?

Samanatha.

Sam.

Her name is Sam Graham.

Oh.]

Edited (holy shit html please obey) 2013-11-20 15:52 (UTC)

Pomeranian.

[He repeats the word, amused by that as well--it takes a lot for Sirius to be particularly unamused, so it's not like this is any great feat, but oh well--

And he's even more amused when she does her trick. You'd think it was demeaning to be a dog and be asked to do tricks, but it's actually the best thing in the world. Everybody likes it, everybody's amused, and you usually get some sort of reward, even if it's just more praise. Sirius knows this well.]

Hey, that's brilliant. Well done, Sam Sammy Sammy--

[Carefully, he accepts her paw and shakes it, with a very specific sort of tenderness you might not expect from him. Loud and boisterous and messy and really nice to dogs, that's Sirius Black.]

Will and Samantha. You sound like you ought to have them writing serial strips about you in the papers or something. Crime-fighting, mystery-solving, daring-do intrepid heroes. With circus acts on the side.

[And Samantha might be the brains of the outfit, he's not yet sure. Not that Will Graham comes off as stupid. Maybe he's entirely the opposite, it's difficult to say, but Sam Graham is definitely the one with the social graces.]

Nice to meet you both. Despite the shit circumstances.

[Like a parent with a child, Will's pride and outright joy is obvious. Sure, a dog he trains who behaves well reflects good on him, and that's always a pleasant thing for him, to feel good about something he did that didn't damn near destroy his brain throughout the process. He sees a good job and he sees himself being congratulated, but he sees more than that. He sees a dog that's not in pain, that's being fed and sheltered and adored, and he sees it reacting to that love in a way that spreads its own sort of love. He instills as much love as he can into each and every dog, and the smiles they can bring out by being well behaved and doing something as simple as a shake, well. It tells him more than "good job with that training, weirdo." It tells him that the dog in question is happy and that's really all he could ask for.

...aside from one person in particular returning his affections, but he can't have the world. Especially not inside a "hospital" cell.

Which he was really not thinking about until Sirius goes off about crime-fighting and mystery-solving. It's a joke. He knows it's a joke. There's no special temporary badge on his jacket, there's no blinking neon sign that declares his former profession. It wipes the smile, rare and genuine thing that it is, right off his face, and he finds himself frowning without meaning to.

Frowning is really one of Will's specialties. They don't teach frowning like this in acting school. It's all au naturel. It's impossible to stop, and he doesn't realize it until he's stricken with the urge to stick his own hand out for a shake. There are treats in his pocket, treats she would ordinarily get, yes. Just not after he realizes he's probably made a face that would do better on a statue at a religious juvenile detention center.

At a joke.]

Yeah, nice to. [He's off balance, which is nothing new. He's still recovering from his brain being inflamed. But that's not something to tell on the first date. Not in that depth.] Sorry, sorry, wow. That's. That's actually what I did back home, you caught me a little off guard. Not the daring-do, but the, the crime-fighting. Mystery-solving. [A glance down at cute little Sam. Not with a dog by his side, but what had he done? He'd given the villain of his story free access to them. Had him feed them, probably pet them, play with them. No, he hadn't taken his dogs in the field, but he'd effectively done as much the moment he didn't think about things that rhymed with—] Dogs stayed at home. You can't, there's no "bring your pets to work day" at a crime lab or in the classroom. [Unless it's Hogwarts, where you have to bring a pet. Right up Will's alley, until he gets kicked out of Potions for bringing all six of his dogs. But they deliver messages, so what if it takes the five times longer than owls! They still get them! Don't be like that!] Are, are you in Loki? They, there's. Tele. Mind reading there. With the. Hearing things. In people's heads. Thoughts.

[That's not how it works, but fuck that. Everything in Asgard is completely unheard of to Will. He can heal things. People can make fire and ice and other stuff that's straight out of movies and science fiction and fantasy. Will Graham is here to give people feelings that pump them full of color. So what if Will wasn't actively thinking about his murder business! Maybe this guy's just a tele...whatever!...back home and is good with it!

SO WHAT IF WILL GRAHAM IS BAD WITH JOKES AND ENDS UP NOT TALKING LIKE A REGULAR PERSON SO WHAT!!!]

[First, it's like, wow, what did he say, and how exactly was it wrong. Sirius comes from serious times, but he's not lost his ability to joke about things. That's more important than ever, in these dark days in good old wizarding England. He can be serious when the time calls for it (positively downright Sirius harr harr harr), but he's just as likely to break a dark mood with a joke as treat it with perhaps more appropriate gravity.

So maybe that wasn't the right tack to take with Will Graham, Dog Man? Only... then he's going on about tele-mind-reading, and he's speaking very haltingly, and Sirius sits back on his heels, blinking up at him.]

Er. I'm-- actually, yeah, that's the one they told me. Loki. Only I've never read a mind. You can't, actually, there's Legilimency, but it's not mind reading-- mine was a joke. And a lucky guess, I s'ppose. Came from one too many comics.

[Not that he makes any great study of comics, but you do get bored from time to time, and reading Quidditch Monthly is all right, and Busty and Bewitched even better, but there's got to be artistic distraction not in the form of curvy girls or curvy broomsticks, right?

No, actually, those do well on their own. But the point is, Sirius has embraced muggle culture, to an extent, partly to get under the skin of his family, and so he knows about crime-fighters with animal sidekicks in pulpy comics. It's a thing.

What's really difficult to believe is--]

Sorry-- you solve mysteries?

[A little incredulous at that. He squints up at Will again, still idly scratching at Samantha's neck.]

[There's an L-word Will doesn't know. Not that he really understands the big L-word, but it's unfamiliar to him. It sounds like a legitimate (haha!!) thing in some world. It must be. It rolls off the tongue without any difficulty. But he's not used to the idea of mind-reading being anywhere ever, so what in the hell kind of world is this guy from?]

I guess we're both doing well with the lucky guesses. [He's back together, mostly. Back on his feet mentally. A bit. He's still not sure about all this magic and powers and so forth, but he likes dogs. He just has to focus on that.

And he does, pulling out a small bag of curly bits of wonderfully greasy bacon from a jacket pocket and tossing one down at the fluffy orange little beast that more often than not tries to steal his pillow.] That's a simplification of my job, yeah. I help track down murderers. Murder mysteries. Or, you know, I did. Then I came [He looks around, holding out the bag. Here, now Sirius can secure his place as Samantha's second best friend.] here and it's not exactly so useful. Thankfully.

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DECEMBER TEST DRIVE

all natural! what a good guy you are :,)

he's not risking them getting people sausage again, okay. USE THE TREATS ON THE NIGHT STAND TYVM

ok but true confession time: that people sausage was p good

will thought so too but that is not the point!!!!!!!

sorry will you are going to forever crave the taste of person meat :E

oh that hannibal

so wacky! damn good cook though. damn good.

to the chagrin of everyone he's fed once it's revealed