Jade Harley | gardenGnostic (
nukeoleptic) wrote in
assguardians2013-11-18 08:08 pm
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DECEMBER TEST DRIVE

THE TEST DRIVE MEME
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ok but true confession time: that people sausage was p good
[He demonstrates, with his hands, the size of a titchy dog, and that is: itsy bitsy titchy little. Also this dog here would fall under that category, but Sirius is more interested in scratching her behind the ears than he is anything else.
But then he's going on about strays and all right, yeah, Sirius is getting a general impression of this fellow. He's like a crazy cat lady, but a crazy dog... man. Which, there are certainly worse things to be, no judgements, especially because Sirius feels quite strongly about people taking care of poor stray dogs. He's played the part of a poor stray dog before, just for the hell of it. Some people are downright cruel to poor stray dogs, or they would be, if the poor stray dog they were trying to be cruel to didn't have a bit of his brain that was still very Sirius and thus able to outwit them, and maybe teach them a lesson, make them think twice about being cruel to poor strays--but this guy, this guy likes poor stray dogs. That's the kind of guy Sirius can like.
Even if he's a bit weird.]
So... all right, so what I get from this is, you're not the discerning sort. You just like dogs. Even when you're transported to Merlin-knows-where, and asked to fight a war, of some sort, you still just like dogs.
Noble cause. [The way he says it has a hint of amusement to it, but it's not judgmental or dismissive.]
will thought so too but that is not the point!!!!!!!
Oh. Right. I get you. Little...people sometimes call them yappy. She's part Pomeranian is my guess. That's a little, fluffy, orange dog...
[Which is probably totally obvious considering said dog is
fluffy
orange
and little
A million points to Sigyn for nobility in regards to stray mutts! Sigyn wins!
He realizes he probably should stop talking about dogs because this guy is brand new and while a distraction is nice, he may have questions.
But holy shit, Will cannot stop with the dogs. He's a disaster.]
Did I—? Sirius Black, right? I'm Will Graham. [Bad manners, this is his heart, it's on the table, Seleeeeeene] And that's Samantha. What do we do when we meet strangers, young lady?
[A little wiggle of his fingers is all she needs to have, and one little paw lifts up for a shake while a pink tongue hangs out. Maybe he has a lot of dogs, sure, but they're well fed, clean, and happy. What else matters?
Samanatha.
Sam.
Her name is Sam Graham.
Oh.]
sorry will you are going to forever crave the taste of person meat :E
[He repeats the word, amused by that as well--it takes a lot for Sirius to be particularly unamused, so it's not like this is any great feat, but oh well--
And he's even more amused when she does her trick. You'd think it was demeaning to be a dog and be asked to do tricks, but it's actually the best thing in the world. Everybody likes it, everybody's amused, and you usually get some sort of reward, even if it's just more praise. Sirius knows this well.]
Hey, that's brilliant. Well done, Sam Sammy Sammy--
[Carefully, he accepts her paw and shakes it, with a very specific sort of tenderness you might not expect from him. Loud and boisterous and messy and really nice to dogs, that's Sirius Black.]
Will and Samantha. You sound like you ought to have them writing serial strips about you in the papers or something. Crime-fighting, mystery-solving, daring-do intrepid heroes. With circus acts on the side.
[And Samantha might be the brains of the outfit, he's not yet sure. Not that Will Graham comes off as stupid. Maybe he's entirely the opposite, it's difficult to say, but Sam Graham is definitely the one with the social graces.]
Nice to meet you both. Despite the shit circumstances.
oh that hannibal
...aside from one person in particular returning his affections, but he can't have the world. Especially not inside a "hospital" cell.
Which he was really not thinking about until Sirius goes off about crime-fighting and mystery-solving. It's a joke. He knows it's a joke. There's no special temporary badge on his jacket, there's no blinking neon sign that declares his former profession. It wipes the smile, rare and genuine thing that it is, right off his face, and he finds himself frowning without meaning to.
Frowning is really one of Will's specialties. They don't teach frowning like this in acting school. It's all au naturel. It's impossible to stop, and he doesn't realize it until he's stricken with the urge to stick his own hand out for a shake. There are treats in his pocket, treats she would ordinarily get, yes. Just not after he realizes he's probably made a face that would do better on a statue at a religious juvenile detention center.
At a joke.]
Yeah, nice to. [He's off balance, which is nothing new. He's still recovering from his brain being inflamed. But that's not something to tell on the first date. Not in that depth.] Sorry, sorry, wow. That's. That's actually what I did back home, you caught me a little off guard. Not the daring-do, but the, the crime-fighting. Mystery-solving. [A glance down at cute little Sam. Not with a dog by his side, but what had he done? He'd given the villain of his story free access to them. Had him feed them, probably pet them, play with them. No, he hadn't taken his dogs in the field, but he'd effectively done as much the moment he didn't think about things that rhymed with—] Dogs stayed at home. You can't, there's no "bring your pets to work day" at a crime lab or in the classroom. [Unless it's Hogwarts, where you have to bring a pet. Right up Will's alley, until he gets kicked out of Potions for bringing all six of his dogs. But they deliver messages, so what if it takes the five times longer than owls! They still get them! Don't be like that!] Are, are you in Loki? They, there's. Tele. Mind reading there. With the. Hearing things. In people's heads. Thoughts.
[That's not how it works, but fuck that. Everything in Asgard is completely unheard of to Will. He can heal things. People can make fire and ice and other stuff that's straight out of movies and science fiction and fantasy. Will Graham is here to give people feelings that pump them full of color. So what if Will wasn't actively thinking about his murder business! Maybe this guy's just a tele...whatever!...back home and is good with it!
SO WHAT IF WILL GRAHAM IS BAD WITH JOKES AND ENDS UP NOT TALKING LIKE A REGULAR PERSON SO WHAT!!!]
so wacky! damn good cook though. damn good.
So maybe that wasn't the right tack to take with Will Graham, Dog Man? Only... then he's going on about tele-mind-reading, and he's speaking very haltingly, and Sirius sits back on his heels, blinking up at him.]
Er. I'm-- actually, yeah, that's the one they told me. Loki. Only I've never read a mind. You can't, actually, there's Legilimency, but it's not mind reading-- mine was a joke. And a lucky guess, I s'ppose. Came from one too many comics.
[Not that he makes any great study of comics, but you do get bored from time to time, and reading Quidditch Monthly is all right, and Busty and Bewitched even better, but there's got to be artistic distraction not in the form of curvy girls or curvy broomsticks, right?
No, actually, those do well on their own. But the point is, Sirius has embraced muggle culture, to an extent, partly to get under the skin of his family, and so he knows about crime-fighters with animal sidekicks in pulpy comics. It's a thing.
What's really difficult to believe is--]
Sorry-- you solve mysteries?
[A little incredulous at that. He squints up at Will again, still idly scratching at Samantha's neck.]
to the chagrin of everyone he's fed once it's revealed
I guess we're both doing well with the lucky guesses. [He's back together, mostly. Back on his feet mentally. A bit. He's still not sure about all this magic and powers and so forth, but he likes dogs. He just has to focus on that.
And he does, pulling out a small bag of curly bits of wonderfully greasy bacon from a jacket pocket and tossing one down at the fluffy orange little beast that more often than not tries to steal his pillow.] That's a simplification of my job, yeah. I help track down murderers. Murder mysteries. Or, you know, I did. Then I came [He looks around, holding out the bag. Here, now Sirius can secure his place as Samantha's second best friend.] here and it's not exactly so useful. Thankfully.