assguardians | (no subject)

the test drive meme.

❧ let's do this.

Anyone can post to the test drive meme, including duplicates! Please put your character name and canon in the title of your comment.
All threads are considered open to everyone! Tag around and make some friends (or enemies)!
If you decide to apply to the game, you can use your TDM threads for your app samples! You only need to provide seven comments if you use TDM samples.
You can't really be late to a TDM! This will be considered open until the next one goes live next month.
You can make up your own scenario, interact with one of the locations in the game, use the welcome process of your character waking or selecting a god house, or use our optional prompt below!
You do not need to pick a god house to play on the TDM! You can have your character still in the process of discussing/deciding/despairing instead.
If you are accepted to the game, you can keep TDM threads as game canon as long as you fudge some of the details depending on your original thread. If you aren't sure exactly how to do this, you can always ask a mod.
The game cap is currently at 57/100. Casts currently at/approaching the 8 character limit are:
ASOIAF/GOT: 6/8
Marvel Cinematic: 5/8
Reserves open on September 24 at 12:01AM EST and close on September 30 at 11:59PM EST.
Applications open on October 1 at 12:01AM EST and close on October 7 at 11:59PM EST.
Please always feel free to contact the mods if you have any questions! Have fun, dear (future?) Wanderers. ♥

❧ optional scenario.
As you're walking unsuspectingly through the city, you might feel a sharp but brief pain as something strikes you suddenly at any point on your body. It seems you've been shot - but where there might be a wound with any other weapon is a bright splash of paint instead, glowing faintly with magic. Our modern-Earth savvy friends might be able to recognize this as the work of a paintball gun, complete with that particular sting that isn't anywhere near unbearable but is still really unpleasant all the same. If you aren't quick to figure out what's happening, you might be struck by another paintball, or perhaps even several at the same time. As the colorful paint splashes across your clothes (will that come out in the wash later?), you'll feel compelled to interesting effects depending on the color:

red: you laugh once, with a loud ha!
orange: you finger-guns at the first person you see.
yellow: you sing and hold a note for five seconds.
green: you sneeze.
blue: you fart.
purple: you cry. :(

The more paintballs you're struck by, the sharper your eye, or perhaps even simply from picking up on the juvenile nature of the pranks themselves, some of you might catch the culprits darting around corners and giggling as they run past. Young children with simple handmade guns and bags of what look like glowing marbles. They might be willing to share with you if you promise to let them keep playing - or they might make a run for it if you try to get in their way. Either way, good luck getting that paint our of your clothes!

navigation.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Karkat is asking too many dumb questions at once for him to answer, because every time he opens his mouth to do so he's asking something else.

FINALLY, he stops and by this point his emotional breakdown has, in fact, calmed down because now he has to fucking take care of the king of gd shitfits, and he starts touching his face with one hand in a gesture one might call a pap.]

Shoosh. [Pap, right between the eyes.] Shoosh. Your eyes are as golden and choleric as ever.

Edited 2019-09-18 04:14 (UTC)

[ Karkat narrows said eyes at Dave, though the gestures work as intended for calming him down. Dave can feel the tension draining from his body. ]

I said reassure me, don't insult me.

[He can feel it, and he holds him against him so he doesn't melt to the ground from Dave's amazing papbilities. He gives one more pet between the eyes and leaves his hand there as he half-smirks at him.]

Youb know it's impossible for me to do one without the other.

[ Stares cross-eyed at Dave's hand for a moment, before huffing and gently batting it away. ]

Much to my constant consternation. Are you done?

No.

[His batted hand falls to the juncture between Karkat's neck and shoulder, a gentle touch. He ducks his head in, pressing a kiss to his toothy mouth.]

I missed you.

And you taste like Pop Tarts.

[This moment only keeps getting better.]

[ It would be a sweet moment... if they weren't in public. Karkat goes absolutely scarlet, freezing in place uselessly for an instant, then starts to look around completely flustered. Hugs were one thing, but kisses!!! ]

It... it's not as if you have a pop tart monopoly!

[Dave right now could care less about PDA embarrassment.]

Wasn't complaining, it's like...a taste of home.

[He leans his cheek on Karkat's head, a dumb, dopey smile on his face.]

[ Despite his protest, Karkat does not pull away from Dave. Preferring to stay right where he is, even if it leaves him semi-mortified. ]

... how fucking long has it been if you're acting like such a clingy barkbeast?

[He's real glad Karkat doesn't pull away because he has had a severe vitamin k deficiency lately.]

Fuck me, like, almost 5 months?

Holy shit! Are you okay??? What the fuck have you been doing here for so long!

[ At this point in their lives it's hard to conceptualise Dave being separated from him for that long, let alone what trouble he's inevitably gotten into. ]

[He shrugs, not moving his face from his hair because it is a safe space there.]

Physically speaking, sure I'm fine. Not god tier anymore, so I've been extra careful around stairs, lately.

Congratulations, you have to use your fronds again like the rest of us mere mortals.

[ Karkat is allowed to be snide about that, he's had to deal with Dave being insufferable with his flying and stairs jokes for years. Besides, he can tell that Dave is doing well-enough physically. ]

And emotionally?

Yeah, my calf muscles are already back to swole with all this pedestrian walking I've had to do. Felt like a real chump named Karkat this whole time.

[He leans back just enough to half-grin at him, answering:]

Things're looking up now.

[The way his eyebrows crease over his glasses may speak more about how hard it's been on him, but he's doing the thing where he doesn't want to over-worry Karkat.]

[ Karkat can call bullshit when he sees it, so he purposefully pokes the crease of Dave's eyebrow ]

You're getting wrinkles.

Pot calling kettle black.

[He pokes Karkat back in the same spot.]

If presidents were elected by the grumpy creases between their brows you'd always win, no contest.

Dave, please. I've had these forever, while your skin has always been irritatingly youthful and sans imperfections.

Yeah, suppressing emotions and internalizing anger is great for the skin. Can't get crow's feet if you never smile.

Edited 2019-09-21 04:27 (UTC)

All the more reason it's annoying as fuck. These wrinkles aren't from smiling anyway. Trust me, I'd know.

[ Karkat's wrinkles very definitely frown-lines and eyebags from exhaustion after all. ]

Hmm. Been getting a LITTLE crow's feet the past few years.

[Smiles at him like a boyfriend does to his grumpy bae.]

[ Said grumpy bae gets predictably flustered, just a little bit. ]

Knowing you, all that means is you'll look fucking *distinguished*.

Maybe. But you'll look like an absolute zaddy.

[ And Dave accuses Karkat of making up words.]

Zaddy?