assguardians | ASGARD GENESIS

the test drive meme.

❧ let's do this.

Anyone can post to the test drive meme, including duplicates! Please put your character name and canon in the title of your comment.
All threads are considered open to everyone! Tag around and make some friends (or enemies)!
If you decide to apply to the game, you can use your TDM threads for your app samples! You only need to provide seven comments if you use TDM samples.
You can't be "late" to a TDM! This will be considered open until the next one goes live next month.
You can make up your own scenario, interact with one of the locations in the game, use the welcome process of your character selecting a god house, or use our optional prompt below!
You do not need to pick a god house to play on the TDM! You can have your character still in the process of discussing/deciding/despairing instead.
If you are accepted to the game, you can keep TDM threads as game canon as long as you fudge some of the details depending on your original thread. If you aren't sure exactly how to do this, you can always ask a mod.
Reserves open on May 25 at 12:01AM PST and close on May 31 at 11:59PM PST.
Applications open on June 1 at 12:01AM PST and close on June 7 at 11:59PM PST.
Please always feel free to contact the mods if you have any questions! Have fun, dear (future?) Wanderers. ♥

❧ optional scenario.
As you enter Asgard proper, many of the natives have gathered into curious crowds to greet these mysterious children of the World Tree. Some of them carry baskets of flowers and nervously offer one to any Wanderers that come near. They are vibrant and colorful, picked from the wilds surrounding Asgard, and they might have an odd effect on your character if they sniff the flowers directly.

Purple flowers will make your character very giggly and easily amused by everything they see and hear.
Orange flowers will make your character feel very warm all over, like the sun is beating down on them directly.
Blue flowers will make your character somewhat short and impatient with anything that seems like even a minor inconvenience to them.

Effects of the flowers can wear off anywhere between a few minutes to an hour. And for those new to Asgard, this scenario aligns with some of the general curses we might have in the game!

navigation.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, well. Alternate realities are a thing, apparently.

[ clearly, given he's here, and alive, and not a charred husk outside of avengers headquarters. and loki is here, and alive, and young, now? even better, and potentially more annoying. tony could only imagine how frustrating loki was as a teenager. ]

At any rate, can't help you there. I'm a genius, but Rome wasn't built in a day, and Cupertino wasn't made relevant in an afternoon. [ the lack of tech is frustrating, but can be worked with. eventually. tony built his first suit with nothing; he can figure his way out of this.

but, tony turns to loki, finally. properly, narrowing his eyes a bit. curious, probing. ]

How old are you?

[ time to get down to business, u little shit. ]

I don't know who or what Cupertino is, I'm not ancient.

[ He is but, also not. Sniping with Stark (even an alt) is the most relaxing thing Loki has done since his arrival. ]

But I am above all legal drinking ages, so there. How old are you?

Time's relative when you're an intergalactic weird space god.

[ snipe for snipe. this is almost therapeutic. ]

Cupertino. California. Steve Jobs. Silicon Valley. iPhone, iPod, iPad, iHome. Et cetera.

[ so it is 1994. what a sad, lonely life you lead, loki.

being above all legal drinking ages is meaningless because loki and his stupid idiot binge-drinking brother are gods. but loki is definitely younger, and therefore may not have had the opportunity to attempt to murder them all. yet. ]

Aren't millennials always on their phones? You and your apps and your avocado toast. Or am I thinking of a different snot-nosed brat?

[ !! ugh. ]

I know what the hel an iPhone is, I don't live under a rock. There is also nothing wrong with avocado on toast so your hatred of it confirms you are a mean old man, as I suspected. [ Sniffing, he folds his arms. ] You only wish you were worthy of my snot.

[ Maybe they're both five. ]

[ he will challenge your maturity with a raise of an equally childish man. you would think being a father would mature him, but no. it has only encouraged the quips.

also, this is a wonderful distraction from the reality of the situation. ]

So, essentially, I'm right.

[ nailed it. ]

I've got to say, it's weird seeing you so short. [ tony plays for keeps in this childish war of insults. ] I'm so used to having to reach up to kick your sorry ass, but looks like karma has knocked you down a peg or two.

[ it's.... entirely possible it's the horns, but. ]

Do we get a two-for-one special in the Odinson department, or did Thor not get the invite to the family summer home?

Six-foot is just fine.

[ Fuq u, Tony!! His mom said it never mattered that he wasn't as tall as Thor, hdu. Maybe he's sensitive about being a shortass Jotun, you'll never know. ]

In case you hadn't noticed, which is evidently the case [ have some salt back, ] this Asgard is young. Mimir still has his head. Thor likely hasn't been born in this reality yet, while my own brother certainly isn't here.

I thought you were the annoying little brother.

[ did he get it mixed up? it is entirely likely tony mixed it up, because asgardian family drama is way above his pay-grade, and honestly, tony was over your family drama after it nearly destroyed new york and his tower. ]

At any rate, Thor can still show up.

[ which, weirdly, tony would be grateful for. better to have someone on their side who knows these weirdos than not. ]

And when does Mimir lose his head? Why does Mimir lose his head? You can't tease with the spoiler and not deliver on the goods, kid.

Do I look like Wikipedia? I could have sworn I didn't dress in factoids today.

[ Suddenly history makes him the popular kid, how awful. ]

Don't you know the tale of how Odin lost his eye?

Something about Frost Giants. Have to admit I wasn't really paying attention during the Christmas party.

[ more like a victory party. the thought of the avengers getting together and trading stupid drunken stories after saving new york causes an odd weight to form in his chest, the distraction broken by a sliver of memory, but tony shoves it down to continue the conversation. ]

I'm sure Thor has told me once or twice or fifteen times, but I have better things to do most of the time. You know how it is.

[ His look cedes a silent That's fair, because it is pretty hard to listen to Thor explain anything at length. Silvertongue the Thunderer is not.

And okay, fine, perhaps it won't kill Loki to have at least one informed hero around. It feels a little like being a bomb that may go off, knowing too many deets like Loki does. Better that someone else gets sucked into danger too. ]

Mimir was decapitated in a battle in elder days when the Aesir-Vanir war raged. Odin refused to let his uncle die when Mimir held within him so much wisdom, so he enchanted the still-dying head to be immortal and never know peace in Hel, turning knowledge into prophecy. It sits, in our reality, in Mimir's Well, where Odin gave up an eye in exchange for said wisdom.

Only Mimir's waltzing around here willy-nilly, so. You can imagine how awkward some of us are feeling.

[ all of that sounds ridiculous, but then again, the last ten years of tony's life have been blatantly ridiculous. there's something to be said, in surrendering to the insanity of reality, and once loki is done telling his story: ]

What'd you say earlier? The multiverse?

[ mulling it over in his mind. it exists, because tony helped create it; different timestreams, different realities. accessing those points, along different pockets in the quantum realm . . . ]

People being alive when they're supposed to be dead isn't exactly the craziest thing I've ever heard of.

[ he's living proof of it. ]

Good, then you're keeping up.

[ The fact Tony actually takes on board what Loki is saying and doesn't make fun of the blatantly ridiculous history of Asgard is a boon in itself. ]

The Multiverse is where we're from, you and I. [ He cocks his head, narrowing his eyes at the Avenger. Ah. ] Now that you mention it I think I recognise you, as Starks go ...

[ He must be from that jaunt with the Young Avengers a few years ago, travelling through the Multiverse to escape Mother, the interdimensional parasite. ]

I must have visited your Earth.

Possible.

[ he doesn't seem too bothered, by the concept. tony invented time travel; anything is possible, now.

still: ]

I don't remember meeting a young version of you. I'm more familiar with the older version of you. I've kicked your ass once or twice.

[ read: bruce banner and thor kicked his ass once or twice, but tony totally helped, and therefore it counts. ]

But that means nothing, with how time works. There could be fifteen of me, for all I know.

[ Rolling his eyes, he cocks a hip and rests a hand there, gesturing with the other to animate. ]

Of course you didn't meet me, I wasn't about to waltz up to an unknown Iron Man and have him yeet me into the sky. No, Stark, I was party to the Young Avengers at the time and we were merely passing through your dimension. Your face was hard to miss on the billboards.

[ He isn't surprised or offended in the slightest to hear an Old Loki has been causing strife, taking it on the chin with a grunt of acknowledgement. ]

Older Lokis are madder, they burn from within. [ And all Lokis burn out, but Ikol would rather stick around and live a little first before he murders himself again. ] There are countless Starks, rest assured.

You are inevitable.

ASGARD GENESIS - TEST DRIVE #1

okay!!

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