[ the gesture may be done for steve's benefit, but it's certainly welcomed and even needed on bucky's end, as well. nothing feels particularly solid right now, and his grasp of this strangeness claiming to be reality seems to slip further still the more steve talks.
what to focus on first? zola's experiments are definitely out of the running, there's an ever-present fear that if he allows himself to go back there he'll never find his way back again. he can't imagine his body surviving not just the fall - but the endless trek back to safety through hostile territory in terrible weather conditions. what is he? no, he can't afford to focus on that, either.
what he can focus on, however, is steve. steve making the ultimate sacrifice. sure, it didn't stick, but it doesn't change the years that thought shaves off his life (hell, if he's still kicking in 2023, he can afford them). ]
Jesus, Steve.
[ he pulls steve into a tight hug. nevermind that it was years ago, it's about all he can manage. they really shouldn't be doing this outside, his legs feel like they're about to keel over under him, and he was just as likely to punch steve as he was to hug him. he's proud of him, he always is, always was, but there's always going to be a part of him now that wonders if maybe there was another way - but steve was too lonely, too lost in grief to see it; the man is right in front of him, and he's feeling overrun by the emotion.
how long did it take him to get back? how long did he live, not knowing that steve was gone? how long did he live, knowing it despite it being untrue?
in the back of his mind, a piece of steve's phrasing bugs him we figured, but it's shoved back and never quite crosses through to the conscious mind. ]
no subject
what to focus on first? zola's experiments are definitely out of the running, there's an ever-present fear that if he allows himself to go back there he'll never find his way back again. he can't imagine his body surviving not just the fall - but the endless trek back to safety through hostile territory in terrible weather conditions. what is he? no, he can't afford to focus on that, either.
what he can focus on, however, is steve. steve making the ultimate sacrifice. sure, it didn't stick, but it doesn't change the years that thought shaves off his life (hell, if he's still kicking in 2023, he can afford them). ]
Jesus, Steve.
[ he pulls steve into a tight hug. nevermind that it was years ago, it's about all he can manage. they really shouldn't be doing this outside, his legs feel like they're about to keel over under him, and he was just as likely to punch steve as he was to hug him. he's proud of him, he always is, always was, but there's always going to be a part of him now that wonders if maybe there was another way - but steve was too lonely, too lost in grief to see it; the man is right in front of him, and he's feeling overrun by the emotion.
how long did it take him to get back? how long did he live, not knowing that steve was gone? how long did he live, knowing it despite it being untrue?
in the back of his mind, a piece of steve's phrasing bugs him we figured, but it's shoved back and never quite crosses through to the conscious mind. ]